


Stay Alive

by Hideous_Sun_Demon



Series: Not To Disappear [2]
Category: Designated Survivor (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Scars, Smut, Trauma Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 15:04:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hideous_Sun_Demon/pseuds/Hideous_Sun_Demon
Summary: Two years. Two people.





	Stay Alive

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short continuation of Not To Disappear, because apparently I can’t let this story go.

I will stay with you tonight,  
Hold you close ‘til the morning light  
In the morning watch a new day rise,  
We’ll do whatever just to stay alive 

\- Stay Alive: José González

-

Kendra felt a smile tug at the corner of her mouth as two arms wrapped themselves around her from behind as she sat at her home desk, and Seth’s head appeared to drop a kiss on her cheek. He didn’t relent, perching his chin onto her shoulder, and Kendra let her pen fall from her hand with a clatter.

“Am I going to have to do my work with you on my shoulder like a parrot?” she asked, an edge of laughter in her voice.

Seth burrowed his nose into her neck. “You aren’t going to do any work at all,” he grumbled. “We’re home, Ken. Leave work at work, okay?” Before she could cut in with a protest, Seth continued. “You’ve been going non-stop all week- you can take one night off.” Kendra twisted her head to look him in the face, and saw that Seth was gazing at her with eyes wide and ocean-deep. Her kryptonite. “You’re always looking after me,” he said softly. “So let me take care of you this once and tell you that you need a break.”

Kendra didn’t think Seth was giving himself quite enough credit- she certainly made sure that Seth didn’t push himself too far, but he’d come a long way in the last two years. He had a handle on his flashbacks and panic attacks now, enough that he could go back to work as the Press Secretary, he regularly took his medication, and he still went to see his therapist twice a week. Sometimes she’d have to gently shake him back into focus when he found his mind drifting, but Seth was well and truly able to take care of himself. The only times when Kendra worried were on his bad days. They came less and less, but Kendra would still occasionally wake up to a Seth who couldn’t drag himself out of bed, a Seth who had a look in his eyes that told Kendra he was somewhere she couldn’t reach him.

Nothing had happened since he moved in two years ago, but Kendra still locked the medicine cabinet and hid the scissors on those days. Just in case.

Seth tightened his grip around her, and Kendra sighed in defeat. He had a point- she really did want to relax. “Alright, you’ve convinced me,” she leaned back into the chair and looked up at Seth, who had straightened to stand behind her. “What do you suggest?”

“I want to take care of you,” Seth repeated, but there was a devilish glint in his eye that immediately grabbed the interest of Kendra’s mind, as well as...several other parts of her body. In the year and a half that they’d been together, sex wasn’t something that happened very often. Seth was still a little antsy about prolonged touch, and there was also the issue of his scars. Whenever they did have sex, Seth would insist on wearing a shirt, and Kendra wasn’t allowed to let her hands stray from his back and shoulders to his front. 

It had happened, once. They’d been fooling around on the couch, kissing that had slowly turned into something else, and she could feel Seth teasing the dip of her hipbone with a lazily circling thumb. Eager to reciprocate, and forgetting herself for a moment, Kendra had slipped a hand under Seth’s shirt without warning and brushed against the raised edge of the scar that stretched across his belly. Seth had jerked away from her so violently he’d nearly fallen on the floor, breathing rapidly in the way that Kendra knew meant he was on the cusp of a panic attack. She’d apologised again and again, and so had he, eyes dropping in silent shame.

He didn’t let her touch him for a week after that.

Kendra didn’t push, of course. She was patient- and if limited touch was all Seth would ever be able to manage, she’d be satisfied. But she couldn’t help but crave the idea of skin to skin contact, for Seth’s own confidence if nothing else.

Right now the only skin to skin contact she was interested in was Seth’s fingers resting tantalisingly on her arms. Kendra stood up languidly, turning to face her boyfriend with a smirk of her own. “I like your thinking, Mr Wright,” she murmured suggestively.

“I’m full of great ideas.”

Kendra let Seth wrestle with the buttons on her blouse as they carefully navigated their way into the bedroom. Couch sex was a fun idea, but really, neither of them were exactly young anymore. Kendra liked a mattress beneath her back- she was a woman of simple comforts. Seth triumphantly undid the last button and Kendra let her shirt flutter to the floor before Seth playfully tipped her back onto the bed and straddled her. Seth was always on top- that was another rule. He didn’t do well feeling trapped. But with the way Seth was looking at her now, Kendra had no reason to complain.

Seth gazed down at Kendra, undone below him, and the look on his face was one of reverence. It was the same every time they did this, as though he still couldn’t believe what he was seeing, and for Kendra it never got old.

“Come on then,” Kendra teased as she unzipped her pants and futilely tried to shimmy out of them with Seth still pinning down her legs. Seth usually enjoyed undressing her himself, but at the moment his hands seemed otherwise occupied. He was, Kendra realised, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Ken, I think I want to...show you,” he explained, and Kendra’s face blossomed into an encouraging smile.

“You’re sure?”

Seth nodded vigorously. “I’m sure. I’m ready.” 

Kendra kept her hands flat on the bed, not offering to help the way he had her. This, she knew, was something Seth had to do on his own terms. His Adams’s apple bobbed up and down nervously, but his hands were steady as he undid his own line of buttons. Seth shrugged the shirt off and tossed it to the floor, his bare chest on full display. This was the first time Kendra had seen it since the videos- but no, she wasn’t thinking about that now. Instead, she drank in the whole sight of him. The scars criss-crossed his torso like a roadmap; one snaking down the centre of his chest and more still tracing the lines of his ribs. The one on his stomach was the most prominent, dark even against Seth’s brown skin.

Beautiful, Kendra thought. 

Her breath was caught in her throat as she stared up at him, and as the silence stretched unbroken Seth shifted his gaze away, licking his lips nervously. Kendra wasn’t about to let him retreat back the shadow of his shame, though, so she looped her arms around his shoulders and tugged him down for a burning kiss. “You’re beautiful,” she told him aloud once they broke apart, and Seth actually blushed a little as his face broke into a relieved grin.

Kendra couldn’t wait any longer, and she squirmed eagerly beneath her boyfriend. Seth quickly got the hint and tugged her pants off, Kendra unbuckling his belt as he went. Both sets of pants joined their shirts on the floor, and as Seth deftly unhooked Kendra’s bra they were finally touching, her body pressed flush against his. Seth’s mouth was hot against the sensitive skin of her neck as he peppered a string of kisses down to her collarbone, just the way she liked it. Kendra moaned dazedly as she scrabbled for the condom on Seth’s bedside table, and Seth leaned back so she could unwrap it and roll it on to him with practised ease. No matter how well Seth was doing, he was still far from ready for handling a child, and they weren’t willing to take any risks.

Kendra gripped Seth’s hips tightly as their bodies rocked together, white-hot pleasure sparking through her veins. She trailed her hands up Seth’s body, losing herself in the ripple and pull of his muscles as she reached his back. Kendra was well versed with Seth’s body now, knew where all his danger spots were. His front and the back of his neck were firmly out of bounds, but as she felt the press of his bare skin, warm and enticing, Kendra wondered if Seth was ready to cross any more lines that night.

“Seth,” she gasped out as Seth snapped his hips against hers, sharp arousal spiking through her. Seth pulled back from where he was nipping lightly at her shoulder, wet lips parted slightly in question. Kendra let her hand trail dangerously close to his chest, stopping an inch away from the tail end of one of the scars. She pressed her thumb into the soft flesh, making sure he understood her intention, gave him the opportunity to call it off.

“Do you trust me?” she whispered. Seth flicked his eyes down to her resting hand, considered, nodded firmly. Kendra’s fingers crept closer. “If you want me to stop...”

“I know,” Seth said hoarsely, “I’ll tell you.”

Kendra nodded, and with her fingertips light as feathers, she fanned her hand out flat against his breastbone, pressing into scar tissue. Seth shivered under her touch, and Kendra could feel his heart pounding out a snare drum beat beneath her palm, but he didn’t pull away as Kendra ran her hand down the bumpy stretch of skin. 

It felt rough, almost leathery, but she wasn’t repelled. Instead, Kendra felt drawn in, eager to explore every inch of this new territory. This was Seth, all of him, laid bare in front of her. Nothing about him could ever horrify her.

“I love you,” Kendra burst out, suddenly compelled to speak. She pressed her lips against the scar, mouthing the words against his skin again and again. Seth’s eyelids fluttered shut as he eased back into his rhythm with a low moan that set something hot and heavy curling in Kendra’s belly. She arched against the mattress, still dropping kisses onto his sweat-slick chest, still murmuring between gasps of pleasure. “I love you so much, Seth. More than...more than anything. You’re- ah! You’re incredible. I- fuck...”

Seth dipped his head down and swallowed her next words in a hungry kiss. His eyes were shining as they broke apart. “You’re everything, Ken,” he gasped. “You’re everything to me-“

A wave of pleasure seemed to ripple through Seth’s form as he thrust into her once last time, and he cried out as he shuddered against her. Kendra felt herself come at the same time. A stuttering breath ripped from her lips as she collapsed into the pillows, Seth rolling off to lie beside her, their chests heaving in tandem.

“Wow,” Seth breathed, cheeks flushed, and Kendra couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped her. Seth joined in after a second, and they giggled together until they caught their breath. Then Kendra sighed contentedly and snuggled into Seth’s side. She leaned in to kiss him again, softer this time, her breath ghosting against his lips as they pulled apart. Seth reached up to cup her cheek tenderly, pressing their foreheads together.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

They lay in each other’s arms for a good ten minutes before Seth reluctantly slid away to take a shower, and Kendra nipped off to the other bathroom. They didn’t leave for long, though, quickly drawn back to the warmth of the bed and of each other. It was still fairly early for them but, Kendra reflected as she lay her head on Seth’s shoulder, there wasn’t anything she’d rather be doing than this.

...

Kendra blinked her eyes open drowsily, awakened by the jostling of sheets beside her. She shifted onto her side, a pang twinging in her chest at the familiar sight of Seth tossing in his sleep. He didn’t wake himself up screaming as much anymore, but the misery twisting his features left Kendra with no doubts as to what he was dreaming about. A keening whimper escaped Seth’s lips as he shuddered again, and Kendra pressed her lips to his forehead, trying to smooth out the furrowed creases as she stroked his hair. She mumbled soothing noises into his ear, hoping that some part of her was reaching him, and after a few more muffled cries Seth settled against her chest, relaxing into regular sleep.

Kendra pulled him close, resting her chin atop his head. He had slept better than last night- she could make out the pale light of morning filtering through the curtains. A glance over at the alarm clock confirmed Kendra’s thoughts; they only had half an hour more before they’d have to get up for work. This was the routine they’d settled into over the last year and a half- Seth would try to get a decent night’s sleep through his lingering nightmares, then he’d wake up, take his antidepressants, and he’d set off with Kendra to fight another day. She hated that pain had become as normal as breathing for Seth. She hated that he couldn’t shake off what happened as easily as a bad dream. She hated that she couldn’t smooth away all the hurt.

But...the other part of the routine, where Seth would wake up beside Kendra, where they’d make breakfast together and then drive to work, always side by side. That, Kendra was eternally grateful for. She couldn’t imagine her life without Seth. He’d slotted in like a puzzle piece she hadn’t know she was missing, and now it was as though he’d always been there. Kendra couldn’t help but wonder how long it would have taken them to find each other if Seth hadn’t gone through what he had, or if they would have gotten together at all. But in the end, she decided, it didn’t matter. They did find each other and now, against all the odds, they’d made it.

Kendra could live with that.


End file.
